Are you making friends on facebook?

Is this you? Are you really asking me to be your friend?
Well, I really wanna know.

Do I really mean anything to you?
If so, I really wanna know!

Many join facebook to keep in touch with friends
and hook up with people in our past.

Many of us see it as a powerful internet
marketing tool to build and expand our business. I
stumbled here on the advice of a local friend and,
a short period of time, I found myself attracted
to like-minded people and became a part of a
“Tribe” of real friends that I care about.

I know who they are. They approached me or I
approached them to become a friend. They told
me why they wanted to meet me or how they
heard about me. We were never really strangers.

The bottom line is…
…They showed an interest.

When I asked them to tell me about themselves,
which I usually do, they responded. We found
some common interests and introduced our
friends to them. Our tribe continues to expand
in friendship and influence. We’re part of a new
consciousness and way of doing business and you are
invited to join but first…

Tell me, tell me who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

Many here take the word friend seriously.
We’ve learned from experience that taking a
bit of time to know a few people well makes for a
much more rewarding and fulfilling facebook
experience.

This leads to a lesson I was fortunate to learn early in my
facebook life from teachers like Ian Chapman, Brian Campbell and
Travis Greenlee and the lesson was that there’s an etiquette for
reaching out to make facebook friends.

(There are outstanding guides available that my friends above
have created. Be sure to click on their profiles to learn
how you can access them and their wonderful lessons.)

I’m writing about what I think is one
of the most important elements of facebook -
the friend request and introduction. That is… if
you are serious about making real friends.

When I started here, I clicked on names and
sent friend requests, hoping people would respond
positively. Fortunately for me, many did. One day,
I learned a lesson:

A new friend responding to my friend request me wrote,
“It’s nice to meet you. Tell me something about yourself.”
Being the shy rock and roll dude many of you have come
to know (facetiousness exaggerated) I wrote to Jennifer
to tell her a bit about me.

She wrote back saying only about 20% of the people
she asked ever responded. Since then, I’ve been asking
the same question from people who ask me to be a friend
and find about the same percentage respond.

These are the people with whom
I’ve become very close, ie. My Tribe. It’s like being at
a party or a business networking event. We have the
option of meeting many and knowing nobody or
meeting a few and finding good friends.

If you are here to connect and network by building
relationships, here’s a few tips I’ve learned from others
and from experience that may help leverage and
accelerate your success.

The approach
Tell me, tell me who are you?

Facebook allows you to add a message to your
friend request. Use it to begin a relationship.
How did you hear about me?

Let me know. Try to make it personal.
Believe it or not, I really wanna know

Looking to meet others? If you can access their profile,
look for something that jumps out or interests you. Maybe they
wrote a note that got you thinking, if so, mention
it in your message.

If you were referred by a friend, tell us. Are
they a fb “Celebrity” whose work impresses you? Tell them
(I’ve connected with best-selling authors and
messaged how I’ve enjoyed their work or used
their business strategies to help myself or clients).

Remember that you never get a second chance
to make a first impression. Make it count.
Start with the attitude you are beginning a relationship,
not snagging a prospect!

Social networking is about relationships and trust.
If you want to be a friend, approach meeting a new person
as you would offline. Introduce yourself. Once they respond,
send a message or write on their wall to get to know them better.

As with an offline relationship, be sensitive to what you
write or post. When you meet someone at a chamber of
commerce luncheon, church group or other social
event, would you follow up your meeting by placing
a sign in their front yard or front door advertising your
business or opportunity?

Probably not.

The same applies here. A bit of subtlety and tact is
in order. People like to buy from those they know and trust.
Take a moment to think about how you will develop
a trusting relationship and becoming the magnet that will
have people asking, “Who are you?”

By pursuing real friendships vs. adding volumes of
contacts to your network, you will likely have a more
fulfilling experience. If it’s a choice between
adding 10 names or getting to know 2 people
get to know 2 people.

We have all met and made great friends
with fairly anonymous approaches and that in
itself is exciting. Think of how much more
exciting it will be for you to be adding many friends
instead of just many names!

To many who have been on facebook for
a while, this may seem very basic but it is something
that far too many people overlook. The oversight
can easily lead to great frustration

For one last time… I really wanna know tell me,
Tell me…

Who, who, who AAARRRE YOUUU?

To your great success!

Paul

If you’ve enjoyed this post, get updates from me on twitter
or visit my blog – The Small Business Marketing Guide

PS – Are you interested in learning more about building
your facebook presence? Ian Chapman just
released his book Facebook Strategies,
which many of us have been eagerly awaiting.
If you plan to monetize facebook and avoid
loads of critical mistakes,
this book is a must-have for your library!

PPS – My thanks and apologies to Pete Townsend…

“I stretched back and I hiccupped
And looked back on my busy day.
Eleven hours on the internet
God there’s got to be another way!”

“How can I measure up to anyone now
After such a note as this?”